


No Expectations (But Maybe I Want Them)

by bastanubis29



Series: #Nomin: The pure couple we deserve [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, My boys just want to be happy together, Sm sucks, as is the luwoo, but we got angst instead, gay boys hiding their relationship, i love you challenge, i wanted to write something fluffy, implied homophobia on behalf of SM, markhyuck is only referenced, smol insecure gay boys, unbetaed, unedited, vlive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastanubis29/pseuds/bastanubis29
Summary: Still gay. Still in love. Still doing their best.





	No Expectations (But Maybe I Want Them)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't understand how nomin escaped my writer's block, but I'm glad that they did.  
> This story takes place after the infamous 00 line vlive, and during and after the 'I Love You' Challenge that came out literally only a few days ago.

“You guys can’t keep being this obvious. I can almost see the ‘confident gay/ panicked gay’ memes erupting on twitter as we speak,” Donghyuck says, breaking down the recording equipment while he chastises his fellow 00 liners.

“We’ve always been big on skinship,” Jaemin argues. “The fans are used to it. They won’t read any further into it than that. You and Mark have a bigger following than we do.”

“Still. You were all over each other for the entire live. It kind of screams ‘we’re together!’.” 

“Oh, like you’re not all over Mark everytime the fans see you together,” Jaemin accuses. “Pot calling the kettle black over here.”

“Look, I’m just saying that you should maybe be a little more careful.”

“You could be less of a dick about it. We’re doing our best, Donghyuck. Sorry that Jeno and I aren’t as good at acting straight as Mark is.”

“I’m sorry, too. It would be easier for you to stay under SM’s radar if you were.”

Jaemin knows that he and Jeno have to be more careful. He doesn’t need Donghyuck’s constant nagging about keeping up their image for him to know that. But it doesn’t mean that those warnings don’t go right out the window whenever Jeno looks at him.

Never mind that he and Jeno have been in this tentative relationship for ages and that the honeymoon period should have long worn off by now.

Never mind that Mark and Taeyong are always on their backs about being careful.

Never mind that Lucas and Jungwoo are now the most obvious couple in the group, and that, honestly, Jeno and Jaemin have such a small fanbase that SM probably wouldn’t even sneeze in the direction of their relationship.

Please, continue telling Jaemin how much they need to hide their relationship. 

* * *

 

“I will introduce to you the next game,” Renjun states, reading off the card. “The ‘I Love You’ Challenge.”

The other members make sounds of surprise and excitement, and each of the couples in the room sneak glances at each other, not sure how this will play out.

The ‘I Love You’ challenge starts, and Jisung begins the game.

Almost as soon as he started, Jisung is out. Jaemin succeeds in knocking Lucas out of the competition, then realizes his mistake.

Jeno is sitting on the other side of Lucas, and he can’t possibly be expected to tell Jeno that he loves him in front of the whole world. But he is, and he must if he doesn’t want SM to come down, looming over their heads like the vultures they are.

Jeno steadies himself, waving a hand in front of his face before looking directly into Jaemin’s eyes.

Jaemin is uncomfortable, playing off his nerves for laughter as he asks, again, “the person saying it is allowed to laugh, right?”

He is told yes, and he turns back to Jeno.

“No,” Jeno says before Jaemin can say anything, and damn does that hurt. It takes him right back to that first day, that night where he laid his feelings bare before Jeno, fearing rejection and disgust.

But he turns to Ten, as he must, and begins to speak only to be cut off again. He turns back to Jeno, finally uttering the words.

“I love you,” he says, brushing a hand down the side of Jeno’s face, the way he  _ knows  _ the other boy loves and is rewarded by the ghost of a smile dancing over Jeno’s lips.

And like that, Jeno is out of the game. Jaemin’s mind is preoccupied with how little he wants to continue this game, how much he hates that the words that should be private, for him and Jeno only, are being used for comedy with the intent to entertain.

Ten knocks Jaemin out, his distraction causing him to lose the game. Under the table, Lucas’s hand is on Jaemin’s knee in comfort.

For the first time in years, Jeno and Jaemin are avoiding eye contact,  avoiding physical contact, and avoiding drawing attention to themselves.

Later, after the game, Ten approaches Jaemin, asking if he’s alright.

Jaemin smiles and nods; it’s his own insecurity he has to get over, none of the members can help him with that.

He and Jeno avoid each other for the rest of the filming, only interacting when absolutely necessary.

* * *

 

It’s not until the end of the day, when the makeup has been washed off, their pajamas are on, and the lights are out that they speak to each other in hushed tones over the pillows.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno whispers, hand snaking out to find Jaemin’s in the darkness.

“For what?” Jaemin asks, fingers curling with Jeno’s under the blankets.

Jeno’s voice is muffled, and Jaemin knows that he’s buried his face into his pillow. “For rejecting your ‘I love you’ earlier. It felt weird to have you say it in front of everyone else.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.”

“Jaemin,” Jeno groans, and his fingers tighten around Jaemin’s. “I know you minded. It’s okay that you minded. I want you to mind.”

“But it is fine. I don’t expect you to do any of that, and-”

“I want to do that,” Jeno interrupts. “I want to hold your hand in public, I want to be able to hold you, and cuddle you, and not share you with everybody else. I want everyone to know that you’re mine, and I’m yours. But I heard Donghyuck and Taeyong both talk to you about keeping our heads down, and I figured that me backing off would seem more natural than you backing off.”

“I don’t expect any of that from you.” Jaemin’s voice is small.

“Jaemin, I love you. I want you to expect that from me.”

“You love me?” even smaller now.

“So much. It killed me to say no during that  _ stupid  _ game.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, both basking in the feeling of their palms against one another.

“Hey, Jeno?” Jaemin asks as they’re both drifting off to sleep.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Jaemin sighs contentedly, and snuggles a bit closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments = cuddles  
> kudos = food
> 
> we need food to survive, and I really like cuddles. I'm lonely.   
> Yell about Nomin with me on Twitter (@bastanubis29)


End file.
